The German Shepherd is one of the most impressive and formidable dog breeds on the planet. With their razor-sharp intellect and incredible athleticism, it’s no wonder these dogs are commonly used by police departments and militaries all over the world. After all, there are few things more terrifying than the sight of a ticked-off German Shepherd chasing down their quarry.
Of course, as anyone who’s ever owned one of these dogs will also tell you, they’re incredibly goofy.
With that in mind, what better way to celebrate this wonderful breed than with the 21st century’s most dominant art form? Here, you’ll find some of the funniest (and most accurate) German Shepherd memes on the internet. Enjoy!
1. They’re Lovers, Not Fighters
While the German Shepherd’s teeth might garner most of the notoriety, anyone who’s ever been around one can tell you that it’s really their tongue that you have to worry about. They do love to kiss you — especially after they’ve been licking their butts or drinking out of the toilet.
2. If You Run Out of Land Mines, Grab a German Shepherd
One of the greatest things about these dogs is how they’ve generously agreed to let us live in their houses with them. All we have to do is step over them every time we need to get somewhere. In a paradox that has stumped quantum physicists for decades, it’s possible for a single German Shepherd to exist on every single part of your floor simultaneously.
3. They Take Playtime Seriously
To you, it’s just a game of fetch. To your German Shepherd, it’s a life-and-death struggle against a diabolical tennis ball that would gladly murder their entire family if given a chance. So, when you only pretend to throw it, it makes your little buddy start to question whose side you’re really on.
4. Things Have a Bad Habit of Mysteriously Exploding When a German Shepherd’s Around
Beds, couches, shoes, baby toys — these are just a few of the items that have been known to mysteriously explode in households where German Shepherds live. No one knows what otherworldly forces cause these items to suddenly disintegrate into a thousand little pieces, but whatever it is, it’s incredibly sneaky because if you ask your German Shepherd, they’ll tell you that they didn’t see a thing.
5. German Shepherds Are All Business When It Comes to Protecting Their Families
While German Shepherds might be big and goofy, don’t mess with their humans — they don’t like that. These dogs will do anything to protect their families, so if you want to act like a bad man, don’t be surprised if you end up running like a scared man instead.
6. They Take Downtime Seriously Too
You talked big before you got your German Shepherd. You said that they’d never be allowed on the furniture, and they certainly wouldn’t be allowed on your bed. Somewhere along the line, though, everything fell apart, and now you spend your nights curling your entire body into a 2-foot chunk of the bed, praying that the dog that has their feet in your ribs doesn’t have the dream where they’re chasing the rabbit again.
7. No, Seriously — Don’t Mess With Their Downtime
Your German Shepherd works extremely hard protecting your family from murderers, kidnappers, arsonists, and worst of all, mail carriers. Is it too much to ask in return that you keep it down and let them get a measly 23 hours of sleep?
8. They Make Great Emotional Support Animals
You can tell a German Shepherd anything, and you can rest assured that your secret is safe with them. That’s partially because they’re great listeners and partially because they love you more than anything in the world, but mostly because they weren’t paying attention, anyway — they were hoping that you’d make them a cheeseburger.
9. The Most Interesting Dogs in the World
Your German Shepherd is a good dog. They’re well-trained and they wouldn’t dream of disobeying you. However, sometimes, on rare occasions, their self-control slips a little bit, and they find themselves — completely by accident — with their paws on the counter and your dinner in their mouth. It’s probably for the best, though; after all, that steak could’ve been poisoned (and could’ve been a bit bigger too, if they’re being honest).
10. Secretly, They All Want to Be Interior Decorators
Your German Shepherd is too polite to say anything, but deep down, they hate all your design choices. If you’d just let them, they could decorate your house much better than you ever could. For example, they’re picturing the living room covered in stuffed animal innards, the bedroom sprinkled with a light dusting of chewed-up shoe, and a classy yet understated doggy door on the refrigerator.
11. Nothing Gets Past a German Shepherd
One of the reasons that these dogs are so popular with police departments and the military is the fact that they see and hear everything. Nothing is too subtle to avoid detection — they could hear a cricket burp from 200 yards away. What do you mean you’ve been trying to get them to come inside for the past 20 minutes? They never heard a thing!
12. They’re Natural-Born Helpers
These dogs were designed to work, and they love nothing more than having a job. In fact, if you don’t give them one, they’ll hire themselves in a supervisory role, and they have a paws-on management style.
13. There’s a Wild Heart Beating Somewhere Inside Them
German Shepherds are close to wolves, both in their athleticism and intimidation factor. It’s not hard to see how a wild, savage heart could be beating inside them, yearning to be back on the open range, hunting their prey with a viciousness and cunning that’s unheard of in the rest of the animal kingdom. There’s only one thing stopping them from realizing their bloodthirsty roots: They’ve just lain down, and the carpet’s really comfy right here.
14. They’re Humble Enough to Allow You to Consider Yourself a Peer
“No,” you say for the umpteenth time today. “No filthy, disgusting animals on the couch!” Satisfied, you turn your back and walk out the front door on your way to work.
“That’s a good rule,” your German Shepherd thinks to themselves as they climb back up on the sofa. “This isn’t a place for cats.”
15. Bad Luck Follows Them Around
This goes hand in hand with the fact that so many things mysteriously explode around these dogs, but it’s a well-known fact that German Shepherds are magnets for ghosts and poltergeists. Owners have reported chilling occurrences like trash cans tipping over, food disappearing from plates, and disembodied muddy paw prints on brand-new white carpet.
16. They’re Fitness Fanatics
A German Shepherd never forgets when it’s time to go for a walk. In fact, they have it written down in their calendars, right between “play fetch for 2 hours” and “go to the dog park until the sun goes down.”
17. Their Instincts Aren’t Always on Point
One thing we can all agree on about this breed is the fact that they’d fight to the death to protect their families from evildoers. Unfortunately, though, it’s not always easy to spot an evildoer. Sometimes they’re expertly camouflaged, like that murderer who’s pretending to be a fire hydrant. It’s probably best if your dog barks at it so they won’t be in the way of this nice man in the ski mask who gave them a treat and scratched their ears.
18. They’re Not Above Emotional Manipulation
Listen, they know that they’re not supposed to gnaw on the couch or poop in the den. They know this. They don’t need you yelling at them. They feel bad enough as it is. Can’t you tell? I mean, just look at those puppy dog eyes!
19. The Only Thing They Fear Is Fear Itself
A big reason many people own these dogs is that the breed is powerful and fearless. They inspire fear, respect, and admiration everywhere they go, as there is no animal on the planet that would even think about messing with one. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to have to insist you pick up your Chihuahua, as it seems to be frightening my German Shepherd.
20. If You Want Another German Shepherd, Just Run a Comb Through the One That You Already Have
One of the great things about keeping a German Shepherd as a pet is that they don’t shed that much. In fact, the breed only sheds once in their entire lifetime (starting right after birth and continuing nonstop until death).
21. They Respect Personal Bubbles (or They Would, If They Knew What Those Were)
A German Shepherd is born with manners and refinement. They’ll give you space and never approach you uninvited. Why’d they just lick the roof of your mouth? You blinked — that was an invitation to approach you, wasn’t it?
22. They Make Dedicated Chaperones
If you’re worried that there might be a little hanky-panky going on in your house, simply put your German Shepherd on the case. They’ll make sure nothing untoward is happening by inserting themselves between any two people who show even the slightest hint of physical affection. In fact, many German Shepherd owners claim that these dogs are the most effective method of birth control they’ve ever tried!
23. If You Expect Them to Bite Evildoers, They’ll Need to Practice on Someone Else First
There’s absolutely nothing in the universe cuter than a German Shepherd puppy. That’s good because if they weren’t so adorable, we’d be more upset at them for constantly nipping and biting us. It’s like sharing your home with Jaws (except Jaws never pooped on the carpet).
24. They’re Unbelievably Observant (But Only When You Don’t Want Them to Be)
German Shepherds may not notice when you give them the “sit” command. The occasional order to “come” may get misplaced somewhere in their brains. That guy in your bedroom with the hockey mask and butcher knife may not get a second glance. But if they even think that they saw you giving attention to another dog, you’ll have some explaining to do when you get home.
25. But One Thing’s for Certain
German Shepherds may well be the greatest dog breed in the world and quite possibly the greatest animals, period. It’s one thing to admire them from afar, but once you’ve invited one into your home, you’ll have a love and appreciation for these dogs that other owners simply can’t understand. (You’ll have gobs and gobs of dog hair too.)
Nothing Beats a German Shepherd
If you’ve never owned one of these dogs, then the memes above might not mean much to you. However, for those who have spent any amount of time with a German Shepherd, the truth in these pictures is readily apparent.
If you don’t believe us, simply show these memes to the first German Shepherd that you see. Will they laugh? Probably not, but if you do, they’ll gladly stick their tongue in your mouth.
Featured Image Credit: shelma25, Pixabay
- 1. They’re Lovers, Not Fighters
- 2. If You Run Out of Land Mines, Grab a German Shepherd
- 3. They Take Playtime Seriously
- 4. Things Have a Bad Habit of Mysteriously Exploding When a German Shepherd’s Around
- 5. German Shepherds Are All Business When It Comes to Protecting Their Families
- 6. They Take Downtime Seriously Too
- 7. No, Seriously — Don’t Mess With Their Downtime
- 8. They Make Great Emotional Support Animals
- 9. The Most Interesting Dogs in the World
- 10. Secretly, They All Want to Be Interior Decorators
- 11. Nothing Gets Past a German Shepherd
- 12. They’re Natural-Born Helpers
- 13. There’s a Wild Heart Beating Somewhere Inside Them
- 14. They’re Humble Enough to Allow You to Consider Yourself a Peer
- 15. Bad Luck Follows Them Around
- 16. They’re Fitness Fanatics
- 17. Their Instincts Aren’t Always on Point
- 18. They’re Not Above Emotional Manipulation
- 19. The Only Thing They Fear Is Fear Itself
- 20. If You Want Another German Shepherd, Just Run a Comb Through the One That You Already Have
- 21. They Respect Personal Bubbles (or They Would, If They Knew What Those Were)
- 22. They Make Dedicated Chaperones
- 23. If You Expect Them to Bite Evildoers, They’ll Need to Practice on Someone Else First
- 24. They’re Unbelievably Observant (But Only When You Don’t Want Them to Be)
- 25. But One Thing’s for Certain
- Nothing Beats a German Shepherd